Exams (scene 15)

School: Mrs Torvel talks exams.

'You have the details of the exam which is in two weeks. If you haven't looked at a book yet, then I suggest you do so. A full list of instructions and everything else you need to know is on the sheet of paper being passed around now.' She stops to clear her throat. I play with the piece of skin I've stripped away from my thumb and wonder what Tara is going to do about exams? Does she remember anything she's learnt? She's pretty smart.

Dean smiles at me from across the room. I smile back. Nancy Smith passes me the sheet of paper going around. I take one and lean back to pass on to Aaron Brown – getting a whiff of his smelly trainers as I do. I look it over and try to capture the squirmy feeling going on inside of my stomach. I hate tests. And exams. It's like being placed into an alien classroom, in an alien land, and expected to do their alien test. I usually look through my books the week before hoping some of the information will start a relationship with one of my brain cells and live happily ever after, not go on a first date and then never call.

What I really feel like doing is picking up my stuff and walking out. I can almost taste the hot day breezing in and out of the window slightly ajar. I curl my toes inside of my shoes and crack my knuckles on the desk. I want to be out there, not in here.

I could of left school when I turned sixteen. I hadn't really thought about it then – whether I wanted to leave or not. I just stayed. Mum expected that of me. I think I expected that of myself, but now, here in this classroom... Get real Reilly. Slowly and as inconspicuously as possible, I start to clear up my things: pencil, ruler, paper handout. I zip up my bag and raise my hand.

'Can I go to the toilet.' Mrs Torvel nods and continues talking about the exam. Every time the E word is mentioned I feel like I need to go to the toilet anyway, so technically I'm not lying.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and march out of the room. Immediately the twisted knots in my stomach unravel inside the warm cloak the sun drapes over my body. The fresh air frisks the staleness of the classroom away as I quickly disappear from the school grounds. Where too? I don't know? Right now, I don't care.

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